At first glance, it might seem like Anil Kapoor’s admission echoes every Indian father’s sentiment. But on closer inspection, the Animal actor’s statement hints at pride. Despite achieving fame and success in Bollywood, his children chose to carve out their own path and not rely on his stardom. At home, too, they don’t treat him any differently or bend over backwards for his approval. During a recent conversation, Kapoor opened up about raising confident children.
“Mera bada clear hai, apne bachhon ke saath (I have it very clear with my kids). All my children are very idealistic, very independent, and they are worse than me. Koi mera fan nahi hai ghar mein, koi bhi nahi hai, ratti bhar (No one in my family is my fan, not a single soul),” he told NDTV.
Rima Bhandekar, Mpower Helpline, at Aditya Birla Education Trust, said that Kapoor’s parenting style focuses on letting children be and grow into their own.
“This style of parenting focuses on providing children ample independence and distance to develop, and at the same time support when required, and is very different from helicopter parenting, where parents are around all the time. Such parents let their children know that their assistance is available when wanted by the children,” she explained.
According to her, the aim of such parenting is to encourage children to explore on their own and learn alongside, thereby naturally boosting their internal confidence to solve issues and make decisions. “A parent may encourage their children to try new activities and face challenges without the parent promptly helping them. The central concept is to let children navigate their own understanding of their world and develop competencies, while parents are there to guide as necessary,” said Bhandekar.
Such independent-focused parenting comes with its own set of challenges and pitfalls:
However, some children may not be able to cope with too much independence as it may leave them feeling disorganized or overpowered, or may not know when to call for help, said Bhandekar, adding that few may also need help with controlling their impulsive behaviour with clear-cut instructions, parental expectations and discipline, without which there could be issues in social or academic settings.
“It is easier for stay-at-home parents to devote more time to overseeing and guiding children as per their individual needs. Working parents will need support and keep open pathways of communication with their children when parents are away at work, and involve children in the process of decision-making about small but important things when they are at home,” concluded Bhandekar.
