Imagine a 100 kilos sack of rice on your shoulders and asked to perform daily tasks while keeping that sack of rice steady. Sounds immensely hard doesn’t it? That’s what parental pressure starts feeling like. It can impact the child not only mentally, but also physically and emotionally.
Dr. Dharna Chaturvedi, Consultant- Clinical Psychologist, Artemis Hospitals shares how healing helps children recover from parental pressure.
They start to feel that their value hangs solely on their success. Consistent pressure leads to not only the aftermath of anxiety and depression, but some children also start developing a persistent fear of failure, which can lead to anxiety disorders like generalized anxiety disorder or performance anxiety. Others start to have an intense feeling of worthlessness or sadness that accompanies them for years. These are particularly true for their formative teenage years.
Their core confidence gets questioned and shaken. Their stress causes them to lose sleep, resulting in conditions such as insomnia. In most cases, parents compare their child to others in anticipation of motivating them, but this tends to fail in the long run. Added to social media use and academic pressure, children end up feeling drained emotionally and a constant sense of “I am never going to be good enough”- emerges.
The times are cut-throat, competitive, harsher as the market enters the world of children and education. In this era, it doesn’t help when parents unintentionally. Begin to put immense pressure on kids to excel academically or socially.
The intention might be to guide, protect and driven by wanting the best for your child. Though the continuous pressure and unrealistic expectations may strongly start to impact the mental and emotional health of the child. Let’s recalibrate our expectations, become more aware and create a caring environment that allows children to develop at their own pace.
Kids require to be heard and accepted. Give them room to express their feelings without fear of criticism or punishment. Being present and hearing their feelings and acknowledgement helps improve trust, reduce the feelings of loneliness, and fosters a healthy parent kids relationship.
Value the effort and perseverance children invest in their activities, even if the result is not perfect. This instills confidence, a feeling of you are always watching and supporting emerges. Children feel valued as a whole, and not just- “if they would do this…”
Let children know that failure is normal and important to learning. Discussing your own failures indicates that setbacks don’t define you. This helps children in better handling disappointment and challenges them to continue trying. Fear of failure is normal, but so is a helping hand guiding them through it.
Allow children to get bored, to pick their own hobbies and try out new things. This helps in their personal development, promotes independence, and allows them to know their own strengths and objectives, which ultimately creates a more self-contained and rewarding future.
If issues with emotions become severe, don’t be afraid to get professional assistance. Cognitive behavioral therapy or family counseling can help children through stress, anxiety, or depression and assist families in developing healthier communicative habits and supportive mechanisms.
It’s not about blaming the parents regarding the parental pressure. Afterall becoming a parent didn’t come with a guide book. It’s about trying to end a cycle of blame/ pressure by recognising and changing through our behaviours.
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