Actor and host Rajeev Khandelwal recently shared an emotional memory related to his daily ritual of drinking tea in 56-year-old tea cups every morning. “When mom and dad passed away, I decided to use only the cups that my mom bought in the 70s. I asked her where she got them, and she said that at the time of her marriage in 1970… they went to the Bangladesh border in the northeast, where he was posted. When she passed away in 2019, and then dad in 2022, we were discussing what all we would take…I said, I want these cups with me. So, I have five of these cups and saucers from our mom. I have tea in this every ,” he told Curly Tales in a candid conversation.
Intrigued by this daily ritual, we asked an expert about how personal objects often carry nostalgic value over time.
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On the surface, they are simply old cups and saucers. Psychologically, they are much more than that, reflected Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist, energy healer and life coach.
From a mental health and grief perspective, Delnna shared that human beings do not form attachments only with people. We form attachments with rituals, smells, places, routines, objects, textures, and ordinary moments connected to the people we love. “A cup used every morning, a handwritten recipe, an old chair, a perfume bottle, a watch, a shawl, a diary, a familiar plate at the dining table. To the outside world, these may look like objects. To the person carrying the memory, they often become emotional anchors,” said Delnna.
One of the most misunderstood aspects of grief is the assumption that healing means “moving on” or emotionally detaching from reminders of loved ones. “In reality, is often not about letting go completely. It is about finding healthy ways to maintain connection while continuing to live life. From my work as a psychotherapist, I often see people quietly holding onto deeply personal rituals after losing someone they love. A father who still waters his late wife’s plants exactly the way she did. A daughter who sleeps with her mother’s shawl folded beside her pillow. A son who continues making tea in his parents’ favourite mug every morning. These rituals are rarely about the object itself. They are about continuity of connection,” Delnna continued.
And there is something profoundly regulating about that. Grief can create an emotional rupture in the nervous system. “Familiar objects and rituals often help restore a sense of continuity, grounding, and emotional safety. The morning cup is no longer just about tea. It becomes a moment of remembrance. A quiet conversation. A feeling of closeness to someone physically absent but emotionally deeply present.”
At the same time, grief also needs gentle balance. One of the healthiest ways to navigate grief is to create small bridges between memory and everyday life. “Speak about the person you lost. Allow yourself meaningful rituals if they comfort you. Share stories. Look at old photographs. Write down when emotions feel heavy. But also slowly return to life through routines, nourishing food, sleep, movement, work, prayer, community, therapy, or emotional support when the burden feels too heavy to carry alone. Healing grief does not mean the relationship disappears. It means the relationship changes form. You learn to continue loving the person while also giving yourself permission to keep living,” described Delnna.
At the same time, there is an important distinction to make from a perspective. Holding onto meaningful objects can be healthy, comforting, and healing. Delnna noted that when possessions become the only way someone feels able to function, or when grief becomes completely frozen around preserving objects, emotional support may become important. “Healthy remembrance allows connection while still allowing life to move forward,” expressed Delnna.
Grief is not always loud. “Sometimes grief sits silently at the breakfast table, wrapped around an old cup and saucer, carrying memories that still feel warm decades later,” said Delnna, highlighting that it is “not weakness, attachment, or inability to move on”.
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