Facing a hundred different micro rejections on dating apps builds up enough resentment that it makes people act a certain way. Then these people hear everybody and their moms declare the doom of love on Instagram and become even more jaded. It doesn’t help that world leaders make threats of genocide with the air of a Muad’Dib. Everybody is bad. Then someone shows interest in us, and we hate them for it. I’m not sure whether we hate ourselves more. That’s a question for my therapist.
A Bengaluru-based bride-to-be told me how she “pushed away” her fiancé multiple times when they started dating. The thought of getting attached to him would scare the living daylights out of her. Even after 10 years of being together, she randomly logs into his Instagram account to check if he’s swayed by the fresh attention of a girl online. It’s almost like she expects him to be a jerk who doesn’t love her, actually. As both their families are now planning their wedding, she’s convinced he won’t give her a proper proposal moment. “One day I did feel like he was trying to gauge the size of my finger, but he could just be holding my hand, who knows,” she said. If her fiancé is reading this, please put a rock on her finger already. This woman is dying for it.
Journalist and activist Ash Sarkar said in her podcast, If I May Speak, that we now date like someone going through extended adolescence. “That combination of being super judgemental and critical, but also so sensitive to rejection yourself, that’s being a teenager,” she added. According to a 2025 study from the University of Cambridge, adolescence can last until 32 years of age in Western brains. Who is to deny that the Indian mind is also Westernised in spirit?
Sarkar also said that she would talk like all jaded folks before she found her boyfriend and learned how fun it is to be vulnerable. If they were to break up, she would not die of pain like a silly teen, but only be worried about adult things, like who gets the cat’s custody. As a safety measure, she has put her name down at the vet’s clinic.
(Edited by Prasanna Bachchhav)
