Actor Shoaib Ibrahim recently shared a glimpse of daily life with his wife, Dipika Kakar, and their almost three-year-old son, Ruhaan, on his family vlog. In a playful moment, Shoaib asked his son to help him wash grapes in the kitchen, saying: “Arey uske liye kitchen set lekar aana tha (I have to get a toy kitchen set for him). I will buy when I go out.”
His wife, Dipika, who is currently recovering from cancer recurrence, joked that their son probably would not play with tiny utensils.
In a subsequent blog, he can be seen bringing box boxes of toy kitchen sets for him.
Intrigued, we reached out to an expert to understand what this candid exchange denotes about gender and stereotypes.
At first glance, it appears to be a simple . But from a psychological and child development perspective, such everyday interactions can quietly influence how children understand gender roles, emotional intelligence, and responsibility, said Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist and life coach.
Children begin forming beliefs about the world very early. According to developmental psychology, Delnna said that children start observing patterns of behaviour in their environment as young as two or three years old. “They notice who cooks, who fixes things, who comforts them, and who takes care of the household,” said Delnna.
These observations become the foundation of their understanding of what men and women are “supposed” to do.
“When fathers actively participate in cooking, cleaning or caregiving, it sends a powerful subconscious message to the child that nurturing and responsibility are human qualities, not gendered ones. It normalises and creates a balanced model of family roles,” said Delnna.
Historically, society placed rigid labels on activities. Kitchens were seen as a woman’s space, while boys were encouraged toward tools, cars and physical play. However, modern relationship psychology and parenting research increasingly emphasise the importance of children seeing both parents share responsibilities, shared Delnna.
Another important psychological aspect is the role of play in emotional development. “Toy kitchens, pretend cooking, and household role-play are not merely entertainment. They are powerful . These activities strengthen creativity, fine motor skills, problem-solving abilities and social awareness,” shared Delnna.
When boys engage in nurturing play — such as cooking, caregiving or helping with household tasks — it also strengthens empathy and emotional intelligence. “These qualities are essential for building healthy relationships later in life,” said Delnna.
Practical ways parents can gently break gender stereotypes while raising emotionally intelligent children:
*Involve children in everyday household activities regardless of gender. Simple tasks like washing fruits, arranging plates, watering plants or folding laundry help children develop responsibility and independence.
*Avoid gender labels for toys and activities. Instead of saying ‘this is for boys’ or ‘this is for girls’, parents can encourage curiosity. A child who enjoys building blocks today may enjoy cooking play tomorrow, and both experiences are valuable for cognitive growth.
*Parents can also consciously model shared responsibility at home. “When children see both parents cooking, cleaning, working and caring for the family, they internalise the idea that partnership is about cooperation rather than division,” said Delnna.
*Equally important is the language adults use around children. Statements like “boys don’t cook” or “girls should stay in the kitchen” may appear harmless but can quietly shape limiting beliefs. Instead, children benefit from hearing messages like everyone in the family helps each other” or learning to cook is a useful life skill for everyone, expressed Delnna.
These small shifts create a powerful psychological impact over time.
